Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fidgeting

I know I know. I did it again. I changed my blog yet again. I wish I could just stay happy with one layout for longer than a month but I just can't. Especially lately when I've been super fidgety .. my anxiety tends to sneak out in ugly habits. Alright, I've never shared with you the fact that I am a picker. I pick at my cuticles, my lips, and I bite the inside of my lips on occasion.

Alright. All the time. But I have weeks where I'm really good about it! Just like a couple layouts ago that I kept for almost a whole month. But lately I'm constantly applying chap stick, putting lotion on my dry cuticles and .. changing my blog layout.

I think the last one was just too boring for me.

So I told you about (or showed you) the fun times I had at my bridal shower this past Sunday earlier today and before I go to bed (at 9:52pm) I wanted to move on to day 7 of the blogging challenge that I WILL complete, and maybe share with you some randoms along the way! I think I'm gonna tell you all about my lovely day-off-Wednesday first... so 1) took my sis Julie shopping for her upcoming, much anticipated 21st birthday this Saturday! 
Of which you should be anxiously awaiting pictures. Because they will be posted :) Sunday evening I'm assuming. Her outfit is party-girl-with-class and I'm so excited to take her out on the town! I can't believe that she is going to be 21. Makes me feel old and puts a totally different spin on the fact that I am getting married in 7 weeks. In a way I know that I am in yet another stage of change..and I think I am definitely starting to embrace it or acknowledge it for that matter. I think I'm just trying to sit back and enjoy the ride. And strangely, as reflective as I think I am, when I'm in a period of change, and big events are happening, I almost completely introverted. Almost as if I just have to let it happen and deal with myself once I come out on the other end. 
But I think this time around I want to stay more extroverted. I want to stay reflective. Lately, everything has been so overwhelming and I'm keeping in so many things that I'm well..starting to fidget! I hate it. Or let's say I don't like it. At all. And why have a blog, or at least a personal blog, if I can't treat it like my diary that I happen to share with whoever feels like reading along?! 

And who knows..once it's all over (which I heard can be a little confusing) it might be nice to be able to come back and read over what I felt at the time and compare it to the feelings that come to me once I make it down the tube slide and have popped out on the other end. I can tell I'm going to have to fight myself on this a little bit. I'm already hesitating every time I start a new sentence (What do I say next?...) But heck, this is my blog. I can say whatever I want. Sometimes, others just have to deal :) 

Having coffee this morning with Julie made me realize that as hard as I try not to, I have an opinion about everything. Especially when it comes to the people I love. I can't help myself but to analyse their lives, their choices, and behaviors until people probably get sick of me. Is it really naive of me to say that I do it because I care? I really do. Or at least, that's simply my way of telling you I'm worried about you, and I care enough to analyze the situation for you :P I'm sure some people want to wring my neck for it sometimes. And maybe sometimes they appreciate it. But at the end of the day, I know I'm not a preacher and I am not that person that pushes my opinion on you until you are ready to wring my neck. 

Mhh. 

Well..back to my day..I finished it taking my stupid car to the mechanic so I can drop $100 for them to tell me what's wrong and empty the remaining $200 in my account on whatever is wrong with it. Sweetness! After that I needed a serious marg..and no place better than at the local Mexican place called Corona's that my mother her bff's discovered a while back and have now made it their "stammtisch" every week. Whenever I'm home from Ft Collins, or staying the night at my mama's house..I love to tag along. 

So before I finish the night..according to the 30 day blogging challenge I have to leave you with a picture that makes me happy if I want to be able to check day 7, off my list. Well shit. Could you ask me anything harder than that? There's hundreds! But I'll go try and pick one. brb. 

Alright. FOUND IT! 
The picture that always makes me happy is of, surprise surprise, N and me

I'm fidgety and unpredictable. Deal with it. 

xo

3 comments:

  1. I bite the inside of my cheek and am always putting on chapstick...I totally get it! And, I'm the same way you are with the people that I love. I analyze, I fret, I feel for them, etc and it's 100% because I care so much. Who cares if we bug our loved ones? honestly, they know we do what we do because we care so deeply and I'm sure they wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

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  2. Can I just say that we are true blogging soulmates? :)

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  3. Oh, we so are!!! And, I love it!

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