Sunday, August 29, 2010

What a Week{end} !!

Hi kids
Hope you all had a fantastic weekend. I am sitting here trying to sort of convince myself that it was a good weekend (because it absolutely was) but I am EXHAUSTED!! You know that saying "I need a vacation from my vacation?" well I need a big fat weekend from my weekend! I feel as if so many exciting things happened that it feels as if the weekend took up an entire week! I've got the blisters and slight fever + tummy ache to prove it (I'm assuming result from the .. celebrations I had in downtown Denver this weekend).


{ BIG fat side note!! I LOVE when people tell me they are secret lovers and followers of my blog. Makes me oh so happy :) }

Anyway..let's start with Friday, ya? Oh Friday. I remember now. She was almost as bitchy as Monday can be! The night before N and I had had a pretty difficult discussion about the upcoming wedding. We didn't fight but we hate talking money (who doesn't?) and even though we are excited and nervous..the final bill for the oversized party (yes, I just called my wedding a party) is more than nauseating. Let's just say I better scout some sweet ass thrift stores the second I make it to Michigan, because my deco budget for our new home will be slim to none. So of course..this nausea carried over into Friday morning which must have put N in a little tail spin because 5 minutes before I walked into work he had some drastic thoughts about not having the wedding at all. (ya). In his total defense, there are parts of me that are so at the end that I'd rather just take my dress and hop the first plane to far far away with him, but on the other hand; it's 5 weeks away, the bill is quite meaty, and the strains of this year and having been without each other all summer long is more than weighing on us. Nevertheless, I didn't have the ability to rationalize like that at that moment and tried for the rest of the morning at work not to burst into tears and keep from having a full blown panic attack.

As Friday afternoon came around, I realized she was going to be much nicer to me than her bitch sister Friday morning, and with Friday night came downtown lollygagging shannanigans in the forms of friends, shots, and quite possibly a little too much dancing.

the best failed bathroom shot

my emergency pretend boyfriend when N's not there and best friend Ry

best dance buddy 

Saturday is kind of a blur now..I know I spent the day pretending I wasn't hungover, working from 9-6..and doing it all over again that night with some more friends. (I hardly ever go out. Let alone two consecutive nights. I'm a loser. I know it)


the two funniest women I know - and my new favorite followers :D

I'm not gonna lie..Sunday morning I started waking up from the dead and stretched my feet out in my bed..pulling them right back up to my chest when I felt something ice cold at the foot of the bed..pulled up the blanket and saw a pack of frozen (now semi melted) pees! I totally took them to bed with me because my feet were so damn painful when I slipped into bed the night before .. :P I was desperate. 

Looked a little like death for the first few hours of Sunday morning..sitting in the sun at my brother's soccer game and headed off afterward to Cherry Creek mall in Denver to spend the day MOB dress shopping with of course my mom, my Sena :) and my aunties Jen & Amy. 
*side note - MOB = Mother of the Bride
And you better believe that, not only did we find THE dress in the first store (love Nordstrom's) but it also took us less than an hour!!! I couldn't find any pictures of it online - bummer - but it is so beautiful! Sophisticated, sexy, and chic all in one and so NOT a typical MOB dress :) Not that there's anything wrong with those.. . :)

Bella and I riding in the backseat :D

my beautiful Sena ♥

Bella over the whole shopping thing :) yet still so adorable

It was a fantastic day and a great weekend. I think I have to force myself off the computer and into bed ..I really am running a little fever..and get a good night's rest so I can start the 4 week countdown to our big day rested and excited! 

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Day 12 / 30 Days

Happy Thursday people.

I'm sitting here..just finished the yummiest dinner that my mamacita made..with my sisters and friend Amy. We all have the biggest (!) food babies and are washing them down with yummy wine. ;) Nooo...I'm not being super unsocial. It's that time frame after dinner when everyone, especially when major food babies such as these are in order, needs a major breather and does whatever they wants. And since I told myself that I would stick the the 30 day blogging challenge strictly until I am done!

Maybe that's because I want to move on the Becca's newest edition of the 30 days..but that's another story. So here I am..with my brand new stemless glass of wine (gift from my bridal shower that I already cracked open) filled with yummy red wine..maybe a little tipsy (who me?) and tell you all about what tickles my fancy here on day 12 of the challenge.

I had the last two days off .. and I'm so not going to lie to you, I spent most of it in bed, catching up on season 5 of House. Maybe I'm being a little melodramatic. Maybe I'm just a super lazy person that would rather take a day off lately than talk another minute about the wedding. I know that I would rather pull my pj's back on, leave the make up for a day, stretch out in bed and plunge into someone else's life for an afternoon than run out full of anxiety and guilty drive throughs of random fast food restaurants. And, like yesterday, I got up, made a little morning commute of dropping my brother off at school, and pulled my pj's right back on the moment I came home. By 10am I had finished my 3rd episode, shut my tv and opened the crisp first new pages of Mockingjay - the third and final edition in The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins.

It didn't matter what I did all morning though. Today was the worst day out of the last 2 months that N has been gone, missing him. I could not stop thinking about him. And lately, even though he would never admit it and just continue to deny it, he has been sending the simplest, yet most romantic text messages that make me melt and just want the day that I will be his wife, be here sooner. So many negative things have been wrapped around this dang day that I keep forgetting the most important thing that will happen that day. When I think I can't think about the stress of everything for one more second I find a picture of just N that I love to take when he's not looking, and my heart gets the chills, and I reimagine, for the x amount of time, the moment when we are dancing for the first time as husband and wife, or escape to the coast, just him and I to the beach and take in the fact that after 5 years of love, growth, tears, lies, and forgivenes that we are starting our own lives together. And everything began with simple looks, smiles, and the gentlest, shy kiss I have ever experienced.

For me to say that a text message can be romantic is a stretch. You know me. The firm believer of love letters and one person to share your entire life with. And even though I dream myself into those eras, I'm not naive enough to ignore the type of love I hold on to for dear life that I have with N. The other day we were texting about how bad our financial situation is and since about last November it doesn't seem to stop raining in our lives. Every day is something new to figure out. Something new to overcome. When at the end of the day we just want to be together, have funny looking children, and be in love until we can make fun of each other's wrinkly skin. I was so stressed and shooting down his every attempt to cheer me up when he said "..but all I need is you" Before I could shoot back something snotty I had to stop and smiled. Ear to ear.

I've never been the person to have money. In high school I always had a job to help out at home. And I don't know how I made it through college without going into bankcrupcy. All I've ever dreamed of when I think about love is that kind of love where it doesn't matter what's on your hand, how much money you have, or the gifts he showers you with. For me, I know I will live a happy life filled with love as long as the boy sharing a squeaky bed in a shitty apartment loves me with every fiber in his body and needs nothing else but that girl to always be beside him and love him for exactly who he is.

N is exactly that guy.

I would go to the end of the earth with him as long as he was holding my hand. Words cannot explain how much I'm going to miss my family when I leave. My mother especially. But on the other hand, my missing N is only getting worse and spilling out of me as excitement to take his hand and get out of this place to a place where it's only him and I. I don't care how cold, boring, or rainy this place. As long as I have him to ride in the car next to, to laugh with, to sleep with, and talk to, I do not care where the hell we go.

In retro spect. Thinking that it has been downpouring on our lives for the past year is a selfish thought. I have him. And he has me. He couldn't have said it better when he told me that all we need is each other. So I'm sorry for the confusion. I know I told you that this was part of my blogger challenge. Well today's question was what tickles my fancy and N, well. He definitely tickles my fancy.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Mom's Dinner is the Best Dinner

Once a week my mom and her amazing friends get together for dinner. They pick dinner to be at someone's house every week, get together, bring the kids, and drink wine! :) Well that's not all they do of course. But whenever I'm home I tag along and I absolutely love it. I think tonight I might have had a little too much wine, because I am freaking exhausted and as much as I want and will start my crisp new copy of Mockingjay Suzanne Collins' brand spanking new release (and last!! :'( ) in her The Hunger Games Trilogy..I have  no idea how far I'm going to make it because I can hardly keep my eyes open.

I've got some work news. Some wedding news. And some news concerning my sanity these days. But we'll save all that for tomorrow. Good night my darlings.


Book Review: Her Fearful Symmetry

I anxiously and lip bitingly finished the latest novel by Audrey Niffeneger, Her Fearful Symmetry. As much as I want write how I feel about this book before jumping into a new book and losing my thoughts about this one, I for the first time after reading a book am completely speechless. I guess more thoughtless would be the correct term. But I am dumbfounded. Sitting on the fence of loving or hating this book. And then I'm still trying to figure out if I even understand what just happened. 

Similar to The Time Traveler's Wife, Her Fearful Symmetry is immensely complex, dives right into a story that quickly unfolds into 6 different layers and you spend the rest of the book jumping from one layer to the next trying to find Waldo in the big busy picture. Kind of like in the Wife you are so busy looking at all of the little people and their accessories in Waldo's big picture, that you can't see the ending and clarity until you go "There he is!" and you find Waldo and suddenly you're saying "Oh I was looking there all along". Just not hard enough. 

So is she absolutely brilliant? (duh.) or do I hate her for getting me to the end of the book fretting over "Do I love it? Even LIKE? But what about..and what about ... but wait. WHAT?" or love her for telling me such a story that does exactly that; knocking me completely off my rocker from left field. You will definitely never get a whirlwind, melodramatic series novel to read from this woman. I knew she was special when I finished and completely fell in love with Traveler's Wife, but girl, you just became a member of my Favorite Author's list. 

This latest novel of hers plays in a stunning historic cemetery called Highgate Cemetery, in London. Which come to find out, is a real attraction in London, complete with buildings and streets that Niffenegger references in her book. I recommend surfing a little through Google before reading this book, because after seeing images of the cemetery and the surroundings, I would have imagined much deeper and vividly (not to mention, hauntingly) while reading this book. (the link will take you to the Highgate Cemetery website, and the Google link to some of the images I researched) . 

Her Fearful Symmetry is about a dieing woman, Elspeth that is not ready to leave this world, or her awkwardly irresistible and handsome boyfriend Robert. After her death, her twin nieces come to live in her flat where they must live for a year, with the promise they will not let their parents, Elspeth's twin sister and husband, visit or even enter, the flat. I will let you find out for yourself if this story is about Elspeth's greed and love for life and the sacrifices made for it, or about the mirror twins that are opposites even in life and death. It is an absolute must read. I hope you struggle through it like I did to end up loving it in the end (I suppose I've concluded that I'm letting myself fall to the "love" side of the fence) . 

I pulled up a couple book reviews and am sharing with you my favorite one. (Be careful - a couple minor spoiler alerts). If I wasn't such a pansy, not engaged, and had a well off aunt that left me her Gothic flat in London with neighbors like Robert and Martin, I would totally live here. 

Day 11 / 30 Days

I'm difficult to keep up with I know. I go from skipping days at a time of my challenge to overachieving and posting both days within 2 hours of each other..and not even in the same day. Can't sleep. Watching House. Starving and trying really hard to resist going downstairs to make some toast with honey.

Wanna see what day 11 a photo take of you recently looks like?

THE most recent picture I could find of myself. Taken Saturday night out on the town..celebrating Julie's 21st. 

Day 10 / 30 Days


Came home from work and realized life had left me a nice hot flaming bag of dog poop on my front door step. Fortunately for you I don't have the energy tonight to even go into that. So let's take a sweet little stroll down memory lane while I share with you day 10's photo of me taken over 10 years ago. 

My mama and me the day my sister came home from the hospital. Can we note how my mother's shirt and wrist watch are totally in style again? 

Monday, August 23, 2010

Oh Ya. I'm still doing that Challenge

Call me a slacker. I won't even try to deny it! But I'm doing the best I can. Especially after my realization this morning that my wedding is 5 weeks away! (Oh my tummy!)
So even though I don't have any vents or randomness to blab about tonight, I am going to continue with Day 9 of the 30 day blogging challenge! Which yes, I know, I already royally failed. I'm a procrastinator. And a horrible one at that. So I'm making this more like the 40 Day Blogging Challenge. Quit bitchin'

So here we go. Day 9! A photo you took
WoW. Could that be any harder? seeing as I am a bit obsessed with photography and snapping people's pictures, this is going to be a difficult one. It will probably delay my posting of this post by about the next thirty minutes, because I didn't know THAT was going to be thrown at me. I better find one..but what criteria!? My favorite? My most recent? ... b r b kids.

OH, EASY PEASY! Found it. It just had to find me first. :) This picture is one of my favorite and first lifestyle portrait shoots I did for a friend of a friend. We were in a trashy grassy area, but she had the prettiest, girliest dress on, and I forced her to throw on my knee high steve madden boots and just walk around. I knew the second the shutter closed that I'd gotten the exact shot I was looking for.

Midnight Blanks

So I thought I was done blogging for the night. So I closed my laptop. Set my tv on sleep and realized  I am not sleepy. At all. Contrary to the two glasses of wine I had tonight. :) It was a rough evening. And blogging with you guys just always helps me get things out and off my chest, even if I'm not really talking directly about what is bothering me. So a little shout out thanks to you for listening to my little rants that usually mean more than their silly content.

So I am again. Laptop opened back up. Light still off..and flipped around on my bed on my belly..getting ready to fill out my blanks for the week I accidentally missed! I really hate when I miss it. I love LOVE Lauren's series .. so much so that I sneakily going to fill them out right now. :)

1. My favorite current TV show is... WEEDS!! I am so excited for Nancy to be back in my life :) If you watch Weeds you know her witts and laughs. And her ever so sexy son Silus :) I have been patiently waiting for season 6 to start up ever since Spoiler alert** Shane bashed that mean lady over the head with a croquet mallet (season 6 insider) ! :D I have never been able to help my LOVE that show. :)

2. The TV character I can relate to the most is.. Nancy! :P Just kidding. :) But I think I don't watch enough tv to actually have a character I relate to. However, I think when I fall in love with a show, it's because something draws me to from a personal perspective and if I really love it, I usually cry at appropriate times and scenes. Or I get super attached and add personal strings to all story lines and twists. :) Just like my books, I personalize everything, especially storylines that don't resemble my own personal life, what, so, ever. :)

3. My life is like...Weeds! My family is crazy. My life is crazy. Maybe a little on the legal borderline sometimes. But at the end of the day, we would pack up our things in 5 minutes if life was telling us to go and stand by each other if one of us bashed a mean lady over the head with a stick (mallet!) and only choose crazy people like Doug, Celia, and Andy to be our friends.

4. My all time favorite TV show ever you see a pattern here? All I'm thinking about is Nancy coming around the corner of her house to the back yard to find her fake bff Celia and her entire pool full of thousands and thousands of dollars of weed. Are you watching it yet?

5. A TV show that is ridiculously stupid but I continue to watch is.. Family Guy. Most of the times I have a constant fat WTF on my forehead, and everytime I'm about to change the channel, I crack a laugh! A big fat LOL slips out and I keep watching. (Plus it's my going-to-bed-must-have-boring-tv-show-to-put-me-to-sleep show).

6. My favorite TV couple is...Freddy and Carly..from iCarly :) Who doesn't love first loves? And a cute best guy friend at that?

7. One TV episode I could watch over and over again is...from Weeds, season four (I think) when Nancy and Andy are waiting by the border in the middle of the night in Nancy's prius, paranoid and high out of their minds, scared by iguanas and end up having a steamy make out session. (Seriously, are you watching yet??) :) Hi Silus. 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Growing Up Chic

I hope you all had as much fun this weekend as I did! Even though I had to work all weekend long..poop..I got to celebrate my younger sister in law's 21st birthday!! We had such a blast..grabbing appetizers at LODO'S bar & grill downtown and bar crawling our way through Denver for the evening. It was so fun..I cannot wait to go out again with you love!

sexy chic lil lady :)


how cute is this girl? :) 

my bff Ry 

Happy Birthday, Pigeon 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm a Little Bipolar

Hope you all enjoyed that every so uplifting post this morning. But after they called me and told me about how much I was going to have to pay for my stupid car to be fixed..all I could do for awhile was just lay there. I cried, but I didn't even have the energy to go with the full motions of weeping, sniffling, and wiping my tears. They just came whether I really cared to acknowledge them or not. without getting too weepy tonight I just want to say thank you for reading along. I'm sure I'd put myself out there even if no one was reading, but because you are still reading, thank you :)

When I forced myself to lift my head to look at the time I had no choice but to pull myself up off the bed and pathetically attempt to dress and apply some make up before Julie would ring my door bell to take me to meet with our officiant, Pastor Dave. Of course I felt like cancelling. And so I gave in and took half a happy pill to help me through the rest of the day.

I don't know why .. I just don't like taking happy pills (or anti anxiety pills) but I can't deny that they do sort of work temporarily, better than they do long term. At least for me. I notice the long term side effects too much and I think that bugs me. Big time. I swear those things feel like being high without having smoked anything. My head gets fuzzy and I kinda feel like I'm floating. But at least it gets quiet in my head for awhile. Long enough for me to proper myself up to sit through an hour long meeting with the pastor and even put on a smile when I walk into work.

Luckily, I have a fantastic job. With people that without knowing too much can read everything right off my face and need less than an hour to cheer me up, make me feel loved, or at least a little bit special, and even make me laugh. You seriously have to be able to just laugh even at the shittiest things happening in your life. Giant or tiny. Even if you just want to cry about it, the second you give it just a little comical spin, you know you can get through it eventually. And probably sooner than you think if you've already cracked a smile.

thankfully for me (I'm just a serious lucky girl) I have amazing friends like Ry that are willing to drop quite a bit and offer for the third time in less than a week to help me with my car and even fix it for me. You're pretty stellar Ry. I owe you mucho :)

How else would we make it through this crazy life thing if we didn't have co-workers to make you laugh and remind you not to take things so seriously. Friends to help you and rescue you from the side of the road for the third time. New friends that you can make new laughs with and giggle about the stupidest things. Moms and sisters who are nothing but the best support systems out there. And boys that love you so, they still send you love notes (even if it's just through text) 5 years after you've been dating and pout to the point of temper tantrum, because they miss you terribly. ♥

We wouldn't. that's why I'm going to bed a happy girl. Counting myself lucky for these pretty little people I call friends, family, lovers, (?) :P alright now I'm just being too sappy. :)

Everybody hates Picture day

Day 8 of the challenge calls for a picture that makes me angry/sad. Not that surprising considering that yesterday I had to share a picture with you that made me happy. Funny thing is, that today, anything would make me sad I think.

I'm overloaded. Exhausted. And over it. Over certain people in my life that are walking blindly, stubbornly through this world and most importantly selfishly. Today I happen to not care if I sound whiny. If I'm drowning in self pity, because I kinda am. At least it feels that way. I try so hard not to. But today, all sense of caring to be proper, polite, or giving a damn of what people will say about my behavior, has left me. The only thing I have strength for on a day like this is to just go through the motions. Whether I'm fully there or not. I don't really care.

I don't think you can consider it ironic that I clicked the link to my blog to see what today's challenge question is, thinking it might make me feel better, and it's really only doing the opposite. I don't have an image that makes me particularly angry or sad. But I'm pretty sure if I had a digital copy of one it would be a picture of my dad. Which now that I think about it, applies to both adjectives the question is asking of me. They make me incredibly angry and at the same time I can tell if I would let them, they would be able to reach the deepest heart strings of mine and fiddle at them. However, lucky me, I've done pretty good at tucking those to the very back.
And since my wall has been successfully erected for the day, even though I can tell you that that's the image I would include in this post, 1) i can't and 2) even if I wouldn't phase me.

I have this weird ability to take things I know are going to run me over like a freight train and switch the tracks so they go the other way for awhile until I am ready for them to come back and deal with them, then. 

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


I know I know. I did it again. I changed my blog yet again. I wish I could just stay happy with one layout for longer than a month but I just can't. Especially lately when I've been super fidgety .. my anxiety tends to sneak out in ugly habits. Alright, I've never shared with you the fact that I am a picker. I pick at my cuticles, my lips, and I bite the inside of my lips on occasion.

Alright. All the time. But I have weeks where I'm really good about it! Just like a couple layouts ago that I kept for almost a whole month. But lately I'm constantly applying chap stick, putting lotion on my dry cuticles and .. changing my blog layout.

I think the last one was just too boring for me.

So I told you about (or showed you) the fun times I had at my bridal shower this past Sunday earlier today and before I go to bed (at 9:52pm) I wanted to move on to day 7 of the blogging challenge that I WILL complete, and maybe share with you some randoms along the way! I think I'm gonna tell you all about my lovely day-off-Wednesday first... so 1) took my sis Julie shopping for her upcoming, much anticipated 21st birthday this Saturday! 
Of which you should be anxiously awaiting pictures. Because they will be posted :) Sunday evening I'm assuming. Her outfit is party-girl-with-class and I'm so excited to take her out on the town! I can't believe that she is going to be 21. Makes me feel old and puts a totally different spin on the fact that I am getting married in 7 weeks. In a way I know that I am in yet another stage of change..and I think I am definitely starting to embrace it or acknowledge it for that matter. I think I'm just trying to sit back and enjoy the ride. And strangely, as reflective as I think I am, when I'm in a period of change, and big events are happening, I almost completely introverted. Almost as if I just have to let it happen and deal with myself once I come out on the other end. 
But I think this time around I want to stay more extroverted. I want to stay reflective. Lately, everything has been so overwhelming and I'm keeping in so many things that I'm well..starting to fidget! I hate it. Or let's say I don't like it. At all. And why have a blog, or at least a personal blog, if I can't treat it like my diary that I happen to share with whoever feels like reading along?! 

And who knows..once it's all over (which I heard can be a little confusing) it might be nice to be able to come back and read over what I felt at the time and compare it to the feelings that come to me once I make it down the tube slide and have popped out on the other end. I can tell I'm going to have to fight myself on this a little bit. I'm already hesitating every time I start a new sentence (What do I say next?...) But heck, this is my blog. I can say whatever I want. Sometimes, others just have to deal :) 

Having coffee this morning with Julie made me realize that as hard as I try not to, I have an opinion about everything. Especially when it comes to the people I love. I can't help myself but to analyse their lives, their choices, and behaviors until people probably get sick of me. Is it really naive of me to say that I do it because I care? I really do. Or at least, that's simply my way of telling you I'm worried about you, and I care enough to analyze the situation for you :P I'm sure some people want to wring my neck for it sometimes. And maybe sometimes they appreciate it. But at the end of the day, I know I'm not a preacher and I am not that person that pushes my opinion on you until you are ready to wring my neck. 


Well..back to my day..I finished it taking my stupid car to the mechanic so I can drop $100 for them to tell me what's wrong and empty the remaining $200 in my account on whatever is wrong with it. Sweetness! After that I needed a serious marg..and no place better than at the local Mexican place called Corona's that my mother her bff's discovered a while back and have now made it their "stammtisch" every week. Whenever I'm home from Ft Collins, or staying the night at my mama's house..I love to tag along. 

So before I finish the night..according to the 30 day blogging challenge I have to leave you with a picture that makes me happy if I want to be able to check day 7, off my list. Well shit. Could you ask me anything harder than that? There's hundreds! But I'll go try and pick one. brb. 

Alright. FOUND IT! 
The picture that always makes me happy is of, surprise surprise, N and me

I'm fidgety and unpredictable. Deal with it. 


Showers for missunshine

Alright I cannot let it be Thursday and not having posted pictures from my wonderful bridal shower this past Sunday! I kept telling myself "Oh I'll do it tonight" after work and now it's Wednesday? What the heck?? So since today is my only day off till next Monday I just have to upload them, tell you how amazing it was, and be done with it :) Even though I wish we were all celebrating, stuffing ourselves with amazing cupcakes made by my darling mama and my friend Sena...

and drinking too much wine. Or was it punch? There was something in my punch I tell you what. Loads of champagne maybe? I don't know but I could not stop drinking it :P Anyhow..I suppose it's appropriate that I blog about how much fun I had with all those women I heart so much, because I picked up my Thank you notes today and can't wait to address them. I know, there's something wrong with me - I love addressing things and writing things?! But my best friend Britt is also in love with purchasing pens, and papers, and markers ( I think she might have cried a little this year that she didn't have to purchase any since we're college alumni now ) that I'm sure she is the same way! ;) 

So I could sit here and type away about each and every gift, who came, etc OR I could just the pictures with a little caption do the work :) I figured you'd like the second option :) Alright! Here goes..

my sister created this candy bar..filled with all of my favorite candy's!! I loved it so much I'm making her recreate it at my wedding :)

Yea..there was some real food. But who needs anything besides sweets and strawberries?

My beautiful best friends Britt (everyone say hi britt) and Angela

My sister snapped this. Kinda heart it. 

I MUST get this in a frame! 

All my mommies. :) And yes, I checked with my aunty Jen, the pretty blonde down in the front, I can have this many mommies :) (maybe they're not so much mommies, because they're also maybe they can be frommies?)

What would a bridal shower be without tears and hugs? xo :)

I loved all my gifts, but this made my heart to back flips! Not only is it my own Betty Crocker Cook Book - it's the vintage edition!!! It has the old original images and vintage cartoons in it. I am still a little freaking out just thinking about it :)

And 4 (of my 6 total) amazing bridesmaids that helped throw me the most perfect bridal shower I could ever imagine. thank you all so much! I love you ♥

Monday, August 16, 2010

Monday - What are you Reading?

I'm starting off this Monday with a new series that will hopefully get me motivated to read more than 2 books before the end of the summer. Because my current reading pace is pathetic and I would really like to get back in the groove :) So..let the reading begin!

It's Monday, What are you Reading?  is where we gather to share what we have read this past week and what we plan to read this week.  It is a great way to network with other bloggers, see some wonderful blogs, and put new titles on your reading list.

Books I completed last week: 
Um. About that. See the above paragraph where I mention my pathetic reading pace. Answering this question might be a little problematic. 

Books I'm reading this week:
Her Fearful Symmetry By Audrey Niffenegger which I cannot put down now that I'm at this specific part so I'm confident I will be able to put this on my "completed" list next week :)

Eat. Pray. Love. By Elizabeth Gilbert..I knew I should have read this almost two years ago when a friend of mine was raving about it, but never did, and I refuse to see the movie until I read the book. But then another friend gave me the advice to see the movie, THEN read the book, because maybe I won't have the movie because books are always better. And since I didn't take the last friends' advice..maybe I should take this one !? :) 

Books YOU are reading this week: 
:) what do you have your noses stuck in this week? 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Turning Down the Volume

I have no shame telling you that it's Friday afternoon. Evening is right around the corner and I am spending it alone, with my two dogs, my favorite bowl of cereal, and the comfiest pair of sweats.
At first I thought - "UUUhhh I get to spend the whole night blogging!" But because this is my fourth draft for tonight I think I have to come to the conclusion that the words are left me for tonight. Maybe even for the week. Maybe they went kaputt a little with along with my car. On a nice warm, anti stress vacation in Fiji.

Those bitches.

So while I was getting my mom ready for her hot date I kept contemplating: "Do I just wanna order terrible food and order in?" "Do I just wanna pop in a movie and lay around for two hours..blogging and facebooking on the side?" "No I'll read!" Then my mom left and I was somewhat like a little rabbit surrounded by coyotes (I'm so from colorado, aren't i?) and couldn't deal with all the options staring at me!

Then I came to my own rescue all by simple googling of "watch house". Now I've got the first episode all loaded and ready to go..I'm going to leave you with a few simple words for the evening and the quickest 411 of what's happening with littmssunshine right now and even complete my day 6 of the 30 day blogging challenge!!! All in ONE post. After that, I am turning my phone on vibrate. Closing all of my google Chrome windows except the one with the loaded House episode, stretch out on my bed and turn off my world for a bit.

1. My life right now at this very moment is chaos, waiting, and anxiety. (That last one's really a mean fat bitch). My car broke down - I don't know why. I missed my wedding gown fitting - thanks to my car. I am stone cold broke - thank you oh happy wedding day. And I broke down and had a xanax this morning because that mfb sucker punched me in the cheek. Trust me, I am not one of those people that is more proud to admit that "Oh I am soooo stressed out..I am seriously, like, having an emotional breakdown" than a little ashamed by it so this is not easy for me to say, but this morning, I had one. Last night after my car broke down and I made it back to work I had to sneak in the bathroom, pull myself together really hard and just went through the motions of closing the store, making it home and letting sleep wash over me as fast as it would take me. I know it's not healthy to try and just turn it off but I don't know where else I'm going to find the energy to worry about even more things. So they're getting put on a sticky note, taped to my life's forehead and are going to be dealt with later.

2. Day 6 of the challenge is my favorite and also my shortest entry so far. It asks Whatever tickles your fancy and this I couldn't have found at a better time. Through the challenge I have admitted that I am a sucker for old, complicated, passionate love. There are hundreds of exceptions out there, I'm not that naive, but I think there are a lot of people today that forget this very important detail about loving someone and being loved. So much so that they let it get in the way, let their selfishness and dissatisfaction with themselves take over, and push the people away that truly love them the most. More than maybe anyone after they are gone, will ever love them. 

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Challenge? What Challenge.

I have been physically exhausted. I think taking on this 30 day blogging challenge is killing me. But, I really want to stick to it! But I have to apologize and admit that I am not doing a great job at keeping up every day. So I think for now, to help me get through it, I'm going to post mini posts every day, answering the questions, and throughout, update you on all the fun, stressful, frustrating, and uplifting things that are happening in the next few weeks!!

So let's do that first :)
one. my bridal shower is this weekend! And I am sooooo excited! My aunties Amy & Jen with the help of my wonderful bridesmaids are throwing me a "jess-is-not-allowed-to-know-anything" shower this Sunday for which I am soo sooo excited, I already have my entire outfit picked out :P I am weird like that. I plan my outfits ahead for everything. Hence the reason I've known what I've wanted to look like the day of the wedding for a year now. :) So yes, stay tuned for pictures this weekend!
two. the following Saturday is my sister-in-law's 21'st birthday. So everyone, please steer clear from the bars on August 21st, because it ain't gonna be pretty :). Jk lady. It's going to be a blast!! And I cannot wait to celebrate it and introduce you to downtown, lodo's and have you come with me from now on when we go out!


three. the weekend after THAT, is the weekend I'm going shopping with my mamacita for her MOB dress!!!! :D So exciting! I've been looking forward to this more than shopping for my own dress. Okay..maybe not that much, but ever since I found mine I've been looking forward to it! 

yaay. (Can you feel my enthusiasm?) I really am excited, but it's becoming literally impossible for me to keep my eyelids open any longer. I have go to go pass out now. 

right. now.