Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm a Little Bipolar

Hope you all enjoyed that every so uplifting post this morning. But after they called me and told me about how much I was going to have to pay for my stupid car to be fixed..all I could do for awhile was just lay there. I cried, but I didn't even have the energy to go with the full motions of weeping, sniffling, and wiping my tears. They just came whether I really cared to acknowledge them or not. without getting too weepy tonight I just want to say thank you for reading along. I'm sure I'd put myself out there even if no one was reading, but because you are still reading, thank you :)

When I forced myself to lift my head to look at the time I had no choice but to pull myself up off the bed and pathetically attempt to dress and apply some make up before Julie would ring my door bell to take me to meet with our officiant, Pastor Dave. Of course I felt like cancelling. And so I gave in and took half a happy pill to help me through the rest of the day.

I don't know why .. I just don't like taking happy pills (or anti anxiety pills) but I can't deny that they do sort of work temporarily, better than they do long term. At least for me. I notice the long term side effects too much and I think that bugs me. Big time. I swear those things feel like being high without having smoked anything. My head gets fuzzy and I kinda feel like I'm floating. But at least it gets quiet in my head for awhile. Long enough for me to proper myself up to sit through an hour long meeting with the pastor and even put on a smile when I walk into work.

Luckily, I have a fantastic job. With people that without knowing too much can read everything right off my face and need less than an hour to cheer me up, make me feel loved, or at least a little bit special, and even make me laugh. You seriously have to be able to just laugh even at the shittiest things happening in your life. Giant or tiny. Even if you just want to cry about it, the second you give it just a little comical spin, you know you can get through it eventually. And probably sooner than you think if you've already cracked a smile.

thankfully for me (I'm just a serious lucky girl) I have amazing friends like Ry that are willing to drop quite a bit and offer for the third time in less than a week to help me with my car and even fix it for me. You're pretty stellar Ry. I owe you mucho :)

How else would we make it through this crazy life thing if we didn't have co-workers to make you laugh and remind you not to take things so seriously. Friends to help you and rescue you from the side of the road for the third time. New friends that you can make new laughs with and giggle about the stupidest things. Moms and sisters who are nothing but the best support systems out there. And boys that love you so, they still send you love notes (even if it's just through text) 5 years after you've been dating and pout to the point of temper tantrum, because they miss you terribly. ♥

We wouldn't. that's why I'm going to bed a happy girl. Counting myself lucky for these pretty little people I call friends, family, lovers, (?) :P alright now I'm just being too sappy. :)

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