The night owl is sitting on my nightstand tonight and not letting me sleep. I'm WIDE AWAKE. You'd think that staying up all night last night celebrating the end of 2010 and welcoming 2011 followed by an entire day of working retail, I'd be moore than happy to get some z's in tonight.
Well apparently, my mind doesn't feel like it right now. I don't know if it's too many things buzzing around my mind right now. Well, that's not true. I know for a fact it is. I've already bitten the inside of my lips sore tonight just lying here thinking about a million things and I will not get sleepy. Once N started talking in his sleep I switched the TV back on and pulled out my notebook.
I'm so angry, I can't even focus to get my thoughts typed out. Not that I could make any sense of them anyway. I'm the worst person at expressing myself without curse words and tears anyway. I'm quite the emotional drama queen the past couple days and I'd like to think that's not usually like me. As much as I want to get these things off my mind I also don't want to be that girl. The one that uses Facebook or any form of internet combined with "OMG" to 'express herself'. It makes everything feel so melodramatic.
Alas, I hope you all had a fantastic New Year's Eve. Hope you enjoyed my self pitiful midnight which must be refreshing from all the New Year's optimism floating around out there :) It's possible I will hitch a ride secretly on the back of that bandwagon. For the sake of what little sanity I have left. :) Don't judge me. I do have hilarious pictures from a pretty fantastical new year's eve to post tomorrow.
For now I think I'm gonna head to Lauren's for some midnight blanks. I am such the procrastinator, aren't I?
xo . jess