Thursday, April 07, 2011

99 luftballons.

I think I hit my limit tonight. I don't think I can go another day without my blog. I've been terrible the last couple weeks. I tried to sort of keep you updated on what was going on. But as much as I wanted to share my thoughts with you, I probably couldn't even have made sense of anything I would have tried to share, anyway. 

I'm a terrible, 
"let me explain myself"

However, in my own defense, I've been run down lately. My health has been all over the place. My stomach problems are worse than ever. Gluten Free trial was a bust. Still no answers and more symptoms to add to my list of my stomach mysteries, emotionally a bit drained, annoyed, and to tell you the truth. 
I think it's going to be an interesting year. 

I feel older. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to me to be turning 24 this year. The past couple of years I felt pretty confident in my skin. Knew who I was, had a solid style that consisted of bows, polka dots, and tulle skirts, had a fiance and just graduated college. 

Now. I've been out of college for a year. I'm a married woman. I LOVE being a married woman and yea..there's a natural sense of nesting grumbling in my tummy. But, more of the "I want to have a cute home for my husband and me" not "let's turn the office into a nursery" type of grumbling. I don't even have an office yet. Let's get there first, ya? So every body chill. (I swear, the next time I have a cold and am sick and someone asks "are you pregnant?" I might hurt them. I'm quite educated in that area, thank you. I promise to inform you immediately if such a thing occurred.) 

Where were we? Oh ya. Kids. Or, not kids. >anyway<
I'm feeling different. Right. Here we go. Nesting feeling. My priorities are changing. But at the same time I'm realizing there are a lot of things I still want to do and for the sake of my youth, these are reasons why parenthood is not the top of my list. I'm too selfish. I really am. 

Plus, until I can quit my crying, I'm simply not ready. (More health issues underlined in that sentence there.) But seriously, my self confidence is at an all time low, my energy is down, my diet & exercise suck (even though I've started going again already) and clearly..I've got a year of self discovery ahead of me. Which is awesome! Love it. Let's explore :) I guess I just had to say all this out loud because I'm proud of myself for getting my ducks in line. I was about to fall off my chair I think. I had some rough days the past couple of weeks, and I'm ready for some changes. Positive energy. And some closet cleaning :) 

Oh, don't you worry. 

You'll get front row seats for the show :)

Missed you guys SO much. I vow to be the follower and love leaver I was before and keep things around here much more entertaining. 
xo . jess


  1. Closet cleaning?? Whatever doesn't get snatched up can be put in a box addressed to Auntie Mertle!! I'll pay for postage! Really! (o;

  2. Welcome back, love...everything will be ok! 24 has been a year of growth for me, and I cannot wait to see what 25 brings. Every year can be a new beginning if you want it adventures, new lessons, new happiness.

  3. Awww yay for self discovery! I'm turning 24 this year too, and I also feel old (and I'm not even married). With May coming up, I will have been out of college for a year, and some sadness/nostalgia has come with that. Sometimes it's hard finding the balance between being a responsible adult and young, fun, and free.

    Sending positive energy your way :)