reverb10 {catchup}

I know I've not been fantastical at this reverb10 thing. I know I've skipped some days..work has just been crazy busy with the holidays, and then my mouth surgery last week..

alright I'm making excuses. 

That's why I'm here to knock out the past couple days I missed and jump right back in the party! :P 

friendship.

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I think this year I learned that you can find friendships in all shapes and sizes in places you don't expect them too. That you will always have those girlfriends that come into your life for a reason and with purpose. That friendships can change overnight. 

lesson learned. 

December 17 – Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

That I have a lot more confidence than I thought and going forward, I will remind myself of this everyday. 

try. 

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

This is super cheesy and common ground, but I really wanted to become a runner this year. Whenever I work out, I love to run. And this year I would have really liked to become a regular gym goer and work outer at least :P But it was too crazy. And this time, I'm not making excuses :) I'm pretty bummed that I didn't stick with it this year. Life had something else for me in store every day, so this year I will make this goal reality people! :)

healing. 

December 19 – Healing What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I think I'm still on that healing road. 

xo . jess

5 minutes.

reverb10 


December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. 

1. my wedding

I don't think I've ever waited for something so desperately and been so excited, annoyed, anxious, happy, stressed out, worried about something in my entire life. Just to watch it fly by, but still enjoy it I have to say, in an instant. I remember my mom telling me that once we get in the car to leave afterward we will say "that was it?" and that's exactly what we did. We looked at each other over my poofed up dress taking up the whole back seat and said "It's over?"

2. sorta graduating college

I have to say, my college graduation was sort of a let down. I walked in May, but had a summer class so it was just weird. CSU really needs a summer commencement. THEN a week before my summer class is over and I'm supposed to receive my diploma I get an email saying that "the computer" says I never got credit for both of my student teaching classes. All I had to say to that was "fuck off" because I've never worked so hard in my life. Now I'm still battling my refusal to pay almost $300 for a fee that will "give me my credit". 

ahhh running out of time..60 seconds!

3. Bri moving back

4. my bachelorette party

5. Katie's visit

6. my crazy family time before the wedding

7. working with J and at my old store at F21

8. Mine and nick's car ride out to Michigan :)

9. the car ride back to Colorado :P

ahhh 25 seconds! 

10. mom's dinners

11. julie's 21st birthday and the 2 crazy consecutive Denver weekends

12. our trip to Seattle

ugh. time. 

bye bye memory.

:)

xo . jess

reverb10 


December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. 

1. my wedding

I don't think I've ever waited for something so desperately and been so excited, annoyed, anxious, happy, stressed out, worried about something in my entire life. Just to watch it fly by, but still enjoy it I have to say, in an instant. I remember my mom telling me that once we get in the car to leave afterward we will say "that was it?" and that's exactly what we did. We looked at each other over my poofed up dress taking up the whole back seat and said "It's over?"

2. sorta graduating college

I have to say, my college graduation was sort of a let down. I walked in May, but had a summer class so it was just weird. CSU really needs a summer commencement. THEN a week before my summer class is over and I'm supposed to receive my diploma I get an email saying that "the computer" says I never got credit for both of my student teaching classes. All I had to say to that was "fuck off" because I've never worked so hard in my life. Now I'm still battling my refusal to pay almost $300 for a fee that will "give me my credit". 

ahhh running out of time..60 seconds!

3. Bri moving back

4. my bachelorette party

5. Katie's visit

6. my crazy family time before the wedding

7. working with J and at my old store at F21

8. Mine and nick's car ride out to Michigan :)

9. the car ride back to Colorado :P

ahhh 25 seconds! 

10. mom's dinners

11. julie's 21st birthday and the 2 crazy consecutive Denver weekends

12. our trip to Seattle

ugh. time. 

bye bye memory.

:)

xo . jess

wisdom.

reverb10.

Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Sometime this year, before my wedding is really the only specific time frame I can come up with, my grandad and I were talking on the phone. At some point our conversation shifted towards my dad. And then my grandad started asking me if I thought my dad would come to the wedding and the conversation went a little deeper from there. 

I know I've talked about my dad on here before. I don't do it often. I'm not sure why. It's on my mind probably every day. But even though I sometimes spend a significant amount thinking about him, I never want to talk about him. Not because it's painful necessarily. Sometimes, yea it is. But I think, unfortunately for him, I'm just sort of over it. I'm over the part where I'm fighting for our relationship or whatever little bit of fraction there ever was of it. I've accepted defeat. The fact that he will never be able to put on his grown man pants and be a dad. 

Now that you've got me started, I feel bad just leaving or posting such a confusing post and give you a little more detail. I'll try my best to not be partial in my side, but..it's kinda hard. Read on. 

So if you haven't caught on that I recently got married, now you're up to speed. ;) You need to know that I was engaged to N for almost two years. He asked me New Year's Eve two years ago..so when we got married it was just under two years' time. I always knew that if my dad was only ever going to be involved in my life one time, it would be for my wedding. He would ask me "What do you dream your wedding to look like?" And then escort me down the aisle. 

Oh wait. We're talking about MY dad here. I forgot. MY dad, makes a smart ass comment as my future husband is asking for my hand in marriage, never not once in the first year of being engaged asks about wedding plans, not even "Hey honey, have you looked for a dress?". MY dad has such a little back bone that I end up email fighting with my stepmom about I'm still not really sure to this day about what, doesn't speak to me for months, then has his wife email me at exactly 8am on New Year's Day enraged because I didn't call for Christmas or New Year's, still no word from HIM and casually emails me 6 months later without a single word inbetween, a one line email 

"Hey, you been watching the world cup?"

Are you fucking kidding?

The stupid girl I am, picks up communication again, which is literally only about soccer and lasts about, oh 1.5 weeks during which I manage a 

"Did you get our invitation? Are you going to make it to the wedding? You're, kind of supposed to give me away." To which my reply was

"Sorry no. [Your stepmom] would really like to take our annual ski trip to the Alps at the end of the year and a ticket to the wedding will cut into our vacation budget."

I'm sorry. I said "are you fucking kidding me" already, right?

And so, I break off communication about soccer and rejection again and have not heard from him since sometime in June of this year. 

It is now December. I have been married for 2 months and had the most handsome man walk me down the aisle. My father has forever missed the chance to see his first born daughter at her wedding. Let alone dance with her for her father daughter dance. 

Alright, I am sorry, I've got to come off my soapbox. I think the vicodin is talking a little more loudly. But hey, I think this is my first reverb10, during which I really reflected. Even if it was in my Mean Girl voice. 

the last time I saw my dad in January 2009. 

xo . jess

party.

reverb10.


December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.


Well. I'm pretty sure, that if you spend two years of your life planning one specific day, you can't really choose any other event to be the party of the year. So this one is pretty self explanatory and expected. our amazing wedding. duh!


Now if only I had my wedding pictures yet, I could actually show you some now couldn't I. Yea. About that. They're supposed to be here any day I guess. 

But that's neither here or there. Fact is, that our wedding was absolutely fantastic. Not a single person found themselves bored or in their seats all night. The music was better than I could have imagined, and I was very picky about the music played. It was the only thing I would get zilla' about. ;) There was party music, but without the crazy bumpin' grindin' music. I can't stand when there's brides grinding with their girlfriends. On their wedding day!? Who does that!! I don't know. I just think it's a bit tacky.  

Anyway, I believe that the people at my wedding were the ones that were always meant to be there. There was not a moment where I would have changed anything. N and I had a beautiful first dance. The food was fabulous. The atmosphere and mood so loving and fun. And the dancefloor, anything but boring. 

beautifully different.

reverb10


December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful


Well, seeing as even though I missed day 8th's prompt from yesterday - answering day 8th's prompt on the 9th seems pretty fitting. Especially after the day I've had. 


I'll share with you when I'm ready I think. I know it's not anything to be embarrassed of or anything I should let my confidence break over. But I'm just not quite ready yet. Not today. It was a bit of a shocker, and it's not every day things like this happen, even though they are more common than I think. 


But I think one thing that makes me different and beautiful from other people is that I have a huge smile. And it's not a secret to me, that that is one of the things people will say about me. That I'm always smiling or that I have a noticeable smile. In a good way I think. Sometimes, I smile just in the hopes that it really is noticeable to people and I think that it might brighten their day just a tad. I could be totally wrong and just a weird girl that's always smiling. But I'm okay with making myself think it's the first one. ;) If it isn't, don't bother pointing it out. 

this makes me miss my long hair. 

xo . jess 

community.

reverb10


December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?


When I was in high school I did a lot of leadership work and we did a lot of volunteering for the community.I have do admit it was fun and I've always wanted to continue it after high school. But I'm one of those horrible people that says they'd like to make time but always come up with excuses not to. So anyway, I have experienced community between people. But I L.O.V.E. my blogging community and my followers and my readers that unveil themselves to me anew every single day. I LOVE finding out when people silently read my blog and follow along and hang out in this cute little corner of mine on this world wide web. 


It's borderline gross how addicting my blog is to me and how much time it consumes of mine during the day, week, and maybe even more next year. I would love to one day have a completely personalized blog, like the kind you pay for :P and going live with my blog would be aaaamazing!! In 2011 I think I will determine with myself how much further I am going to take myself into this world wide web community. 


But for now let me say: 

"I love my blogger community"

xo . jess

make.

reverb10

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

First off I have to say: "I wish I cooked more." I really thought I would start after I was married to N with our own place, but then in Michigan we didn't have a complete kitchen and I had none of my wedding/kitchen stuff unpacked, and now that we're living with my mom for now, who would cook when their mom could have made it?? Right!? So..I'm sorry I'm not more suzy*homemake for you (which is funny, because my mama's name is Suzy)and let me say that this post is not about food. 

Instead, I've been working on a scrapbook for N and I of our trip to Seattle this past March for our godson's baptism. It was such a great trip and we have so many amazing photos even though it was only for 3 days and I got stuck completing it a few months back. I vow to be done by the end of January, so that I can start on the scrapbook I've been MEANING to even start since 2 years ago, of our trip to Germany and Austria during which we also got engaged on New Year's. And after that puppy it should give me a nice "year recap" to start and finish the scrapbook of our honeymoon sometime next summer. 

When I work on scrapbooks I always take my time, so I really only get to 2-4 a year, but they're always awesome :) Oh yea. I tooted my little horn. 

Feel free to hold me to it and demand for pictures of my Seattle scrapbook when I'm done! Or I'll just post pics when I get there ;)

xo . jess

moment.

reverb10


December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors)


Easy peasey. The moment I felt most alive this year was holding N's hand as we were walking down the aisle together right after we were pronounced husband and wife. The music was playing and I was trying to look out at all the people that had come to celebrate our wedding ceremony, but all I could see was Nick and so we just kept looking and laughing and smiling at each other and he squeezed my hand and said "Schatz, we're married!" And I had this burst of tears and laughter at the same time and said "I know!" I remember the sun was shining and it was perfectly warm. Everything was filled with sunshine and I remember everything orange, because my bouquet was so stunning with orange and white and I kept holding it up to my face as to cover my mouth with my hand :P 

one word.

reverb10


December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?


The word I chose to describe 2010 in one word is adventurous. So many things have happened this year I never could have imagined how fast it would fly by. With the anticipation of the wedding, while starting a new job, moving 3 times in less than 365 days, including half way across the country, starting yet at a new store, and coming back home before the year is over, starting yet again at a new store, all while being happily married. 


I would say adventurous definitely fits. 


The word I hope I would chose to describe the year 2011 a year from now would be accomplished. And since I don't have to explain why I chose that word, you're going to have to just stay tuned. :) All 365 days from now!

xo . jess