So I need your major help. I need serious advice. N and I have been fighting like mad lately, because we are stressed beyond belief and I just don't know what to do. And so I thought - why not ask someone else?
I am pretty sure I posted news about the unfortunate events of N and I not being able to stay in the house we are currently living in, in Fort Collins. And I know that I talked about being promoted at work, not in position but to a bigger store which will do more volume and I'll still get a pay increase. The new store location is downtown Denver, which posed a bigger consideration to N and I about where we would try and live.
Our dilema is that my job is now in downtown Denver and his business is still in Fort Collins. Since he's on the upstart of his business he works 10 - 12 hours a day. For the past few weeks we have been searching desperately for places up and down I-25 that's not too small because we have Oli but obviously something that we can still afford. Well, every time we've found something, it's gone by the time we try to find out about it. We have also asked my dear friend B if she'd like to live with us for the next year, since we are definitely not as financially stable as we'd like to be and could use the extra help, especially if we can afford a bigger place that way. This will also enable us to save for the next year since we will be getting an increase in income over the next year.
However, as it turns out, I am basically getting the very short, shitty end of this stick, because there is nothing left and long story short after waying our options and calculating factors like gas, even though it'll be further for me, because my car is way more fuel efficient than N, we'd pay the least amount of gas money a month if we lived in Loveland. To give you a visual image: living in loveland: $400 in gas/month. living in Erie or Broomfield $700+ in gas/month :( Shitty right? My stomach turned over a little bit when we calculated this.
I am so stinking upset :( I do not want to commute 1.5+ hrs a day to and from work! But I also don't want us to have to pay all that money on gas each month. What would you do? Bite the bullet? Put your foot down and do something completely different? I'm freaking out. I want to just compromise, but is it really compromising if I'm the only one sacrificing? And I do want us to save money and have a good financial standing in the future.. but this just sucks :( Big monkey balls.
I'd love some feedback.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh my sweet Jess...I am so sorry. First off, remember that all couples fight, even the "good" ones. I know that doesn't make it feel any better, but hopefully it makes you feel less lonely in your struggle.
ReplyDeleteI don't have the answers for you, because you and N must do what is right for you, and no one else. But, what I will tell you is that the first few years of marriage are hard and are about constant change. And, I will offer a little food for thought consideration...don't live with someone else (even if for the money savings). The first year needs to be about the two of you...starting a life, making traditions, forming a marriage...two people, a united front! Second, pick a spot in the middle and make a "temporary" home - no mortgage, short lease - keep it small (as tiny as you can tolerate) and enjoy it. Our first year of marriage Chad and I lived in a one bedroom apartment and it was amazing. If it doesn't work, you try another place and make some changes, hard changes, if you have to.
Jobs come and go, houses come and go...but this special time in your life is going to fly by so fast. Don't just let it come and go, too!
Love you! Jenn
I think part of it is that you need to decide who the drive is a bigger deal to. Like, I HATE driving on the highway and Tyler knows that. So it would be a HUGE deal for me to have to do that twice a day. Whereas he doesn't care about the drive, but it is super time consuming for someone who works 10-12 hrs/day as you said Nick does. At this point I would say pick a place where you can rent by the month or every couple of months, that way you can determine if your driving situation works - and if it doesn't, you aren't bound in a lease for a year and you can move somewhere else. It sounds like you're in a tough spot :( Sorry, love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the advice ladies :) I appreciate it. Jenn, we're looking at beautiful apartments and condos today :D and kaitlyn..I guess I don't mind the driving. And at the end of the day I would rather drive than pay over $700 on stupid gas. You know how much I love spending on my car ;) I'll keep you ladies posted!!
ReplyDelete