My First Breather

Have you seen that commercial? The sour patch kids one, where the guy is riding is bike and point blank smacks into a fake cardboard wall?


that was me today.


I've been keeping my head up pretty good. The last few weeks before the big day are going by as they wish but drama and pettiness keeps finding me. I woke up cranky. Proceeded to have one of those "bad hair. bad outfit" days and it was downhill from there. Poop. I know. 


Then at lunch N and I got into a tiff about something completely irrelevant..again, about the wedding and as soon as I hung up the phone the wall sucker punched me right in the eye. I couldn't keep it together. I tried. But just failed. If you know me, and I mean really know me, you know I hate melodrama. I don't overuse the emotion of feeling overwhelmed or down lightly and most of the time, even when my hands are tingling, my chest starts to pain, I'll still deny that my body is slightly shutting off and I can't anymore. And ya, I know that happened today, but I'm still denying it. I don't know if I have trouble letting myself be weak or simply admitting that: I'm at the end. I'm overwhelmed. And I need to cry. 

Fortunately, I'm a Gemini. And my better half must be looking out for the stubborn other half, because I'm forcing myself to take a breather this weekend. My boss is out of town, I'm working all weekend and in order to get through it all I'll be doing is working and sleeping. And eating. hello (!?) it's me here. Would never be able to go without eating. But, no wedding stuff, no blogging, no planning, no calling, no thinking! Just working, and sleeping. As much as I can. Then I can come back Monday and kick the last 2.5 weeks before the wedding into overdrive..even if only for a week, because I've got my soulmate katie coming for verstaerkung in a little over a week..and the world will be a little brighter again. The heck am I saying? it should be shining!! i'm getting married people :D look, a smile. I'm better already. Okay now I'm crying again. Seriously, this is pathetic. I'm out. 




(I do with you a happy weekend and can't wait to read all about it Monday!)


xo